I can’t believe this happened. My husband and I have been
married for over two years. I consider our marriage solid, great, and
fun.
No complaints at all not until he lost his job and that started
weighing us down as a family. My husband was my best friend; everything
was going great till that evening when I returned from work and met him
at home so downcast.
I was surprised to meet him at home unlike other days that he returns
very late. Curious to know the reason for his cold reaction, he showed
me a sack letter. I was devastated but decided to take it all in good
faith. I consoled him and advised him to be on a look out elsewhere
because my job won’t sustain us for long. He searched for months but all
effort was futile. In a matter of months, I started feeling the burden
of running the family single handedly. I confronted my husband on the
development of his job search, the answer I got from him was not
convincing at all.
The frustration was becoming unbearable for me, we no longer
communicate as the couple we used to be. S*x in our marriage was history
as there was no excitement to it. As an active Christian, I ran to my
pastor for counseling. I narrated my family’s problems to my pastor and
pleaded with him to intervene by talking to my husband. He agreed and
asked me to invite my husband to see him the next day.
On getting home, I told him what the pastor said and pleaded with him
to attend the counseling with me. He was reluctant at first but agreed
at long last. The next day we were at the pastor’s office. The pastor
spoke to us on some marital issues and advised us to come for two weeks
counseling. That was where my ordeal with the pastor started. When we
got home, my husband was so angry with me and said he will not be a part
of that counseling nonsense. He blamed me for dragging our family to
the public though I gave deaf ears to all he said that night and decided
to attend the counseling alone with or without him. The first day of
the counseling was wonderful though the pastor asked about my husband; I
gave an excuse a excuse for his absence. On the third day of the
counseling program, my husband went to see his parents. He spent three
days because his aged mother was sick. It was at this time our pastor
decided to visit our home. He said he had come to anoint the house. He
knew I was disturbed.
When I told him my husband and I were falling apart, he asked me when
last I made love to him; honestly I couldn’t remember because it has
been a long time. That was when I started having thoughts about s*x. I
was filled with er0tic thoughts. At that moment, the thought of how
handsome and attractive the pastor is filled my subconscious mind. At first I
tried to push the thought off my mind but I couldn’t. The next day, he
visited again to continue the praying and anointing. Even though my
husband was not around, I still welcomed him because he was always
welcomed in members house. Or is it the devil at work? When I narrated
what I was going to through, he was moved with so much compassion seeing
my tears and came close to console me. He moved closer. He looked me
deep in the eyes.
I didn’t know how it happened. But our lips met. We kissed with hot
passion. We couldn’t hold it any longer and before we knew what was
happening, we were already n@ked and moved to our room. He made love to
me passionately on our matrimonial bed. I realized it been like for ages
since I felt the touch of a man. We were so deep into each other like
our life depended on it. We were both exhausted after we both hit our
s*xual climax; he told me how deeply he has falling for me and pleaded
with me not to end the relationship. Then be brought out anointing oil.
He said our marriage is blessed since I have made love to him on our
matrimonial bed. He said our marriage will be restored again and that my
husband will get another job.
Every time he visited and when my husband is not at home, we made
love. He will then proceed to anoint the bed. It’s been almost a year
now, that I have been having the secret relationship with our pastor.
One strange thing is that he always insisted we made love on my
matrimonial bed and I could not resist. He was so trusted by my husband
that he did not suspect anything. My husband also moved around a lot in
search of job. At a point he had to take up menial jobs in some towns
and returns weekend. But my husband is yet to get a better job and I am
feeling being used. Did he cast a spell on me or I am the guilty one? I
don’t want to go to hell fire when I die. I have asked God for
forgiveness and vowed never to see the pastor again but that is not
helping the matter because whenever I’m with my husband, I’m not bold
enough to tell him how I feel. I know I’m wrong but do I confess to my
husband? Maybe that will be my only and true salvation.
What do I do? I need help as I am seriously dying of guilt.

No comments:

Post a Comment