A study by P.M.NEWS revealed that most
Nigerian ladies have, at one point or another,
dated married men. Some have continued to
even maintain double relationships where they
date a married man and keep their relationships
with younger male -bachelors.
Many of the ladies who spoke with their
correspondent concerning the issue, said they
feel more comfortable dating married men than
bachelors. While some disclosed that they are
dating married men because of money, some
said they engage in such relationships because
of the maturity and
experience of the men who already have wives
at home.
However, apart from these two reasons,
P.M.NEWS spoke with two ladies who said they
were dating married men as revenge against
their boyfriends. Many of the ladies confessed
that they had to stick with married men because
they have not found a man ready to marry
them.
Toyin Adedamola, a 36-year-old resident of
Oshodi area of Lagos, said dating a married man
“is not a big deal.”
“I am old enough to marry, but where I
don’t find the right man ready to put me in
his house as his wife, should I just remain
like a prisoner? As I am now, I don’t mind
being a second wife as long as I am
comfortable and respected like a wife by
the man,” she said.
Another respondent, who simply gave her name
as Jumoke, confirmed that she was dating a
married man but added that she was not ready
to be a second wife.
“I am dating one married man and we have
been together for two years now. He is
ready to marry me, but I am not ready to
be a second wife. Experience has taught
me that being a second wife would make
you fight for your life till death. So I told
him I can’t be a second wife.
I am only with him till I find the right
person to marry me,” she said.
A married woman, who refused to mention her
name for safety reasons, said that it is
sometimes good to date a married man for
experience.
“I dated a married man here in Ogun State
before I got married. I finally bade him bye
two days to my wedding. I had a good
time with him all through the period we
dated. I decided to date him so that I
would know how best to handle my
husband.
I felt it would also help me to monitor my
husband’s activities and keep him from
women. The man was actually encouraged
to date a woman outside because his wife
made his home hell for him,” the pregnant
29-year-old woman explained.
For Maureen, she dates a married man apart
from two regular boyfriends. While the married
man pays most of her bills, she keeps the two
boyfriends pending when any of them would
decide on marriage.
“I am getting to 30 years old and that is
not funny. That’s why I have the two guys.
But for the married man, we both know we
don’t have a future together, but he pays
my bills and assists in other areas.
I have been managing them. The married
man knows I have another person, but the
two bachelors don’t know each other or
whether I have a married man,” she said.
For Eyitayo, dating a married man comes with
risks, but she believes that in life, everything
possess their own risks.
“There was this man I dated last year and
his wife sent people after me. I was beaten
mercilessly and had to spend three weeks
in the hospital,” the 29-year-old petty
trader said.
She admitted that she learnt her lesson since
the mistake came from her.
“At a time, I couldn’t do anything without
thinking of him. Moreover, he was the one
who rescued me and made me self-
dependent. I always called and chatted
with him even though I knew it was risky.
That was how his wife knew and came
after me.
Though I have left the man, I am in another
relationship but this time, the man’s wife is
not in Lagos. The man lives alone and
works here,” she said.
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